Pokemon Red: Japanese Golden Cartridge Made In 1866

Once when i was a Kid, i found this yard sale, there was a old man who said " Hey little kiddy, you want a pokémon game''? Heheheheh"'' Then he grew wings out of his back and breathed fire on everyone, then he flies away, i thought this was normal, so i continued, then i got that game covered in blood that said
ばかねえ！ポケットのモンスター、あなたはそれを購入殺し、死んでしまうの血 ( Stupid! Pocket monster, you buy it Kill the bleeding dead blood ) so I bought it, when I got home I played it, yea, i did

''DAY 1, 2:34 PM''

so i played it and it has Ash vomiting on Pikachu, then Pikachu zaps and kills him with thunder shock, then Brock shot Pikachu and stuck a lighter in his butthole until Pikachu exploded, Gary oak got Pokémon blood on his face until he died,
Ash is actually the devil in disguise.

1. Start with his standard description:

CRAZY, POPULAR, BUT FUNNY KID

2. Replace all U's into V's:

CRAZY, POPVLAR, BVT FVNNY KID

3. Letters that do not represent Roman numerals are removed, leaving:

C V L V V I D

4. Change from Roman numerals into Arabic numbers:

500 5 50 5 5 1 100

5. Add all the numbers and the result is:

666

''GAY 2 69:98''

''then ''

Mario shot everybody until everybody died.